Thursday, June 7, 2012
Sadness. Pain. Inadequacy. Failure. These are all feelings I am having right now. I am on day 7 of using crutches and inability to take care of things around the house. Yet, my house is cleaner than it is on a regular basis. Many people feel that men can't handle things... well it is not the case in my home. My husband has gone to work 10 hours a day this week, come home to be the driver to t-ball and softball AND cleaned the house each night. I am a failure. He has told me over the years not worry about the house since my job is to school the kids and play with them. However, he is doing it all. If I am 100% honest with myself, my house could look like a mess if I really spent all that time with my kids. But, too often I am sitting in front of the computer refreshing the e-mail, checking Facebook and instant messaging my husband. I went through a weaning stage on Facebook. I had over 200 "friends" and the did not always appear in my news feed so I went checking walls to see what I missed. I cut back on friends and weaned myself from that habit. Now, I have added many friends back and successfully not checked every wall... However, I still spend too much time on my computer. I am letting my kids grow up while I sit here in front of the pixels that rot my mind and dirty my house. I fear that I will have regrets later in life. I need to change now. Maybe my house will be cleaner but even if it is a disaster I need to make sure I am doing my job so that at least it is a mess for good reason! It is time for me to pull the plug and only check e-mail and Facebook once or twice a day and be with my children before they are gone!