Saturday, March 29, 2014

I let my wild side show

I did it.  I finally did something wild and crazy.  I have always wanted to be a “rebel” but not in a bad way.  I never drank in college until I was drunk (I actually hate the taste of alcohol so I never had more than one period… lol), never smoked ANYTHING except the second-hand smoke I was forced to smoke as a child.  I always wanted a tattoo but am afraid of the pain.  So today I did something that I would not ordinarily do.  Before I tell you what I did… let me tell you a little more why. J

I am a 4H advisor to one of the greatest groups of children around.  My club currently has 40 (yep, that is not a typo 4-0) children in it.  I went to the state convention and I heard another advisor say that she loves all of her kids… that they might as well be an extension of her family.  I agree with that sentiment.  These kids are wonderful and I do view them like a big family to me.  They could come to me for just about anything and I would do my very best to help them.  Recently, we did a fund raiser that not all parents thought would work.  It was a bit of an “experiment” and given we raised over $480 I think we did well!  Sure, we could have made more but I am totally excited about this! 

So, today I went for my MUCH over due hair appointment.  I decided last night that I wanted to be a bit “wild and crazy”.  I wanted to show how proud of these 4H kids I am and I wanted to “bleed green” as was said at the convention.  SOOOOO, I now have green hair.  And we are not talking about that “I am blonde and I swim a lot” look I had in the 80’s – no this is unmistakable, very intentional GREEN! And  NO, not my whole head.  But not in a place you can hide it either.  I kind of wish I had done a tiny bit more but it is fine for now.

So far the reactions I have gotten from parents is: “That is the wash out kind, right?”  Well, the answer is: NOPE.  Yes, it might fade but most likely it will have to be bleached out the next time I go.  I might pick a new color or do more green than I currently have.

Last night when I told my family that I was going to do this my daughter said, “I have one of the craziest and coolest moms!”  She has not seen it yet but I know she is gonna love it.  I don’t know if the 4H students are going to love it too or if they will all think I lost it but that does not matter.  For now, I am bleeding green! J

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I do have to make a side note.  I have only had this in for a few hours and I can feel people looking at me differently.  Even some of the ladies at the hair salon – the one who did my hair is awesome and was totally cool with it.  She loved it when I told her I wanted the green to be thicker!  :D  But I wonder what some of the others think of me.  Do they think I am some renegade parent?  Am I some totally wacko person because I have green hair?  NO!! I am the same God fearing, Jesus Freak I have always been.  Some people may walk further away from me.  Some people may look at me funny but it is giving me a new perspective on how I view people.  We are not supposed to judge on looks and I have always said that but we all do it on some level don’t we?  I wonder as I sit in my big huge “wealthy” church on Sunday what some of the people will think of me?  I wonder if it would make a difference to anyone to know why my hair is green.

In the end, we need to remember how we would like to be viewed if we had green hair to support some kids who did a good job and people looked at us like we grew a third eye.  I often wondered if I would shave my head to support a friend with cancer.  Quick answer as I sit here: ABSOLUTELY!  Let’s face it folks, it is just hair.  I have spent too many days of my life crying over bad hair days.  If my hair looks awful, I am still the same beautiful creation in God’s eyes.  If I am bald it is the same thing.  Yes we are not supposed to do certain things for pagan reasons (I could go into a whole LONG diatribe about that).  So, on one hand the fact that my kid thinks I am cool is not the right reason to do something and I might need to evaluate that but I know in my heart I am God’s.  By His grace, he chose me to be one of his – even if I have green hair.


Right now, I like my green hair – I kind of wish it were like this for St. Patrick’s Day. :D We will have to see what happens when I go again in around 3 months. J

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Energizer Bunny

"Are you related to the Energizer bunny?"  I had that question asked of me a few times this weekend.  I have never thought anything I was doing was that great or special.  Apparently others disagree.  I thought what I was doing was just what all parents do.  In fact, I often feel like I am not doing enough for my children.  I hear these other moms paying for pricey summer camps and extra curriculars and I feel like my kids are missing out on something.  But, I have to remind myself of a few things.  1 -- we are a one income family.  Some of those pricey summer camps are paid for by the second income and because there is not a parent home during the day all summer long.  2 -- my kids are getting things...  swim team, dance class, riding lessons, 4H, classes at the co-op.  It is not like they are hermits.  No they will not be taking the pricey $140 per child swim camp to better their skills and therefore they might not be the best on the team but they do get to be on the team and that is better than nothing, right?

I don't know, for some reason I always feel like my kids are lacking compared to their peers.  But what if it is not that they are lacking, what if they are getting more time with their family and building those relationships that are seemingly dwindling in this country.  Isn't that more important than being able to play a musical instrument?

Somehow people think that I do a lot and have all this energy I don't see in myself.  I hope that I am not making others feel as though they are somehow lacking when they see the things I do.  I would not want anyone to think that they are somehow letting their children down, after all, I know how that feels.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Today's mail

As I am in the full blown panic of setting up a birthday party for my soon-to-be 8 year-old my oldest goes out and gets the mail.  In the mail is a packet that I requested from the county Foster & Adoptive Services office.  She is super excited.  I keep trying to tell her that we are "thinking and researching" and that does not guarantee that we will be doing anything.  I fear her excitement.  I don't know where this is going to lead and she instantly assumes this means things will go as she has planned.  I wish she had not seen that packet.  How do we teach our children that "maybe" does not always translate to "yes but later".  I have said maybe to several things over their life time and every time it turns out to be "no" as the final answer our children are devastated.  I am left not wanting them to know anything until it is a yes answer but then I feel like that is sending them a wrong message as well.  Then they only ever hear yes.  But this is not ice cream or a movie night... this is a growth to the family -- a step that MUST not be taken lightly.  This is something that must be prayed about -- A LOT!  Sometimes I think that I need to be the only one who goes to the mailbox.  No matter what happens with adoption I am still left wondering how much I should let my kids know so that their hopes are not always dashed and how much they need to learn that the answer is not always 'yes'.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Failing

So, while I can figure out how to spend hours on Facebook, I can't seem to blog properly.  I was recently given the link to a friend's blog and I found myself reading her entries for like 2 hours.  Her life seemed so interesting.  The thing is that she is not writing profound things (not always anyway, there are some entries there that are very profound, to me anyway).  She just takes the time to write the simple things in life.

I want to make another go at this blogging life.  I want to try to do something.  Maybe I need to tell myself that I can't go on facebook until I write something -- anything on my blog...  I am not a writer, not a good one anyway but I don't think blogs have to be perfectly written.

So, I am going to give it a go again.  Keep encouraging me...  It is probably healthier for me to spend time writing on a blog than spending hours "liking" items on facebook.  After all, I can't say some things on facebook for fear that I will be un-friended by those I try to reach.  I told God when I went on facebook that I would try to be salt and light.  I started out good... lately I find myself not posting things that some would deem controversial because then I can never gain trust of those I want to be salt and light to... it is a complicated world in facebook.  You can hide behind the screen and express things all you want or you can hide behind the screen and say nothing.  I am not sure that either one of those is the best way to be.

But, in my own personal blog I can be who I am (even though my name is changed due to my husband reading too many things in the news... :) ).  So, I am going to give it a go again.  I am sure that it will be a slow go but it would be worth it in the end if I find a better outlet for my thoughts...