Tuesday, October 22, 2013


I am not doing good following doctor's orders...  It is so hard not to bend over.  I don't want to step over that shirt of piece of paper on the floor.  I want to pick it up.  My house is far from perfect or even clean on most days but this is out of hand.  It seems to me that I have a desire to clean them up more now that I am not allowed to pick them up.  I have to keep telling myself to ask the children for help.

Don't blow your nose!  I have been following this one but boy is it annoying/hard!  Especially after using a saline rinse...  Don't lift anything over 10 pounds... UGH!  My four year old keeps asking me why the doctors don't like him.

No physical activity that raises blood pressure... they needed to be very specific on this one...  Like no raising BP AT ALL!!  Going up a flight of stairs too fast results in nose pain for me -- even laughing hurts!  I thought I could teach at my children's homeschool co-op.  I thought I could stand and talk for 3 hours as long as others carried things for me.  Well, apparently that was over doing it.

It seems to me that my surgery last year that left me on crutches and no driving for 3 weeks was way easier than this.  The worst part right now is that from my research while the doctors said 3 week recovery, it is not quite on the mark.  It may be 3 weeks of intense recovery but it looks like this can go on for months or perhaps a year.  The last few days I have felt really down about these things... Maybe that seems silly, after all I just had surgery, right?    Guess what?  Apparently there is a thing called post-op depression.  No one told me about that one.  Good grief!  I am a little better today than I was yesterday.  Just need to keep praying to heal and for safety for my nose. LOL!

Would I do the surgery again?  Well that depends if it works.  I can definitely see that I should have less sinus infections from this but does it help the migraines?  I might not know for several months!  So for now I just wait for that time to come.  Would I recommend to others that they go through this?  Well that depends on whether it works or not.  If it takes away 23 years of pain, then yes it was worth it.  If not, I will be left wondering why I tortured myself.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Sunk costs are getting to me.  I am struggling with my curriculum choices.  I paid money for these items and they are not working for my family.  I feel like so much money has been wasted on products that really do sound good but are not working for my children.  I know these companies are businesses and need to make money, but only one out there tells me the reasons NOT to buy their curriculum!  Shouldn't they all be like that?  Who wants to have the customers be unhappy?  Wouldn't it be better to have fewer very happy customers than many who are lukewarm about the product?  I am frustrated.  I feel like I have wasted my husband's hard earned money on some of these things that sounded great but do not work for my children!

I am a huge fan of Cathy Duffy's book 101 Top Pick for Homeschool Curriculum.  I take the test in the front at least once every 12 months to see how my styles have changed over time to make sure that I am getting products that work for me.  However, while she talks about the styles for the children, I am not sure where one of my children fits in there.  I wish there was a "quiz" for the students as well so that I could see really where he fits in.

So what do I do?  Do I keep using these books that are not working for my child because I bought them?  OR, do I pay more money to try something new?  Honestly, I don't know.  I know I will be buying a new program next year!  But, I am not there yet so I am not sure how to handle it right now.  I am trying to be fiscally responsible but it feels like I have a fight on my hands for that.  I feel like I have failed in that department right now.

Not only that but these failing curricula are taking valuable time away from me and my children.  We are wasting time on products that are not working and therefor we are loosing precious time that we will never get back.  We are losing time to learn through play and fun.  We are losing time to be together and enjoy each other.

So I am left with the choice to throw money out the window to lose time with my children.  Neither is a perfect choice but I think using products that are not working will do more damage than good... Now to convince my OCD perfectionist brain that it is ok to stop and move on (and sell what I can) despite the financial loss...