Pink

What would make a woman in her early 40's (in the math world, I can still round down so I am going to roll with it while I can!) to allow her teenage daughter to dye her hair pink? Well, let me tell you in my usual long winded fashion. 

For the last 30 years, I have been a chronic migraine suffer. Did you catch the word chronic? Early on I would have a migraine 26 days of the month. I tried everything out there (with the exception of acupuncture and bee sting therapy.) Some things helped a little but others fell flat or caused side effects that I could not tolerate. Over time, I was blessed to be able to get down to 8 to 10 migraines a month. Certainly not pain free but I chose to focus on the massive decrease this was an roll with it. I would often explain my migraines and the lack of relief from them as what Paul was referring to as his "thorn in his side". Migraines were/are mine.

Now before you send me all sorts of emails telling me about the new medicines out there. I feel I must break my stride and tell you that in January of this year I started one of them. It has been a life changer for me! This entire year I have had as many migraines as I would normally have in one month! Words cannot express the complete gratitude I have for this new lease on life. I have been able to exercise (before any raise in blood pressure could cause a migraine). I have been able to be outside in the summer more (again heat and migraine...). I have lost almost 50 pounds! This year has made me feel like a whole new person! 

So what does all of this have to do with pink hair? I'm getting there, bear with me. I want you to imagine raising a family with pain so intense that you can't get out of bed. You can't open curtains because the light will intensify the pain. Loud sounds make your head spin. Smells make you want to vomit. Imagine raising kids. Have you ever seen a completely quiet house with toddlers? My children had to learn how to tiptoe around and be relatively quiet when mommy was not feeling well. My children spent many days not being kids as far as I was concerned. They saw mommy trying so hard NOT to cry in pain (oh yeah, I tried so very hard not to cry for the last 30 years because crying caused MIGRAINES!). They heard mom asking, no- BEGGING for relief. They saw mom go to the hospital in so much pain the meds would not work here at home. This does not even include the massive blow that my daughter especially would feel as we endured the death of our son, Gabriel. (Don't know the story? Check out: https://springrainandwaterfalls.blogspot.com/2016/02/today.html but bring Kleenex!) My heart aches thinking of how much she grew up that year. But she grew up each time a migraine hit too as she helped me with her younger brothers. 

Don't get me wrong. God is totally using this for these kids. They are some of the sweetest and most compassionate children I have ever met. My boys set up "comfy" spots for me on the couch when I hurt. They all pray with me when I am in pain or when I have to give myself a shot. My daughter learned to help take care of her younger brothers very early. She is also my nurse when I am administering shots so I don't have to see any blood. They have been shaped and molded through all of this and I love them and am grateful for who they have become. There is just a part of me that feels they were robbed of some of their childhood.

A part of me wanted so badly for them to just be kids -- crazy, noisy kids! So any day that I was feeling well we would be loud. I mean really LOUD! We would literally sit in the kitchen and see who could be the loudest! At the end of every movie, when the credits would be rolling, we would all jump up and have a "dance party" in the living room. When I was feeling well, we had fun and a lot of it. I took Ecclesiastes 3:4 to heart. My kids would endure times of weeping and mourning but by golly when we could we would laugh and dance!

 

Some times during our laughing and dancing we would do totally crazy things. My daughter would do my make up and hair. Mind you, I don't even wear make up so all we had in the house was stage make-up from her dance recitals so there was nothing subtle to what she would do to me! Then one year I got it in my head that since the swim team championships were right as fair started and the team's color was basically the same green as 4-H, I would put a green streak in my hair to show support. My kids thought I was the coolest mom there was. I can't express the joy this brought me. I had spent so many years fearing they would grow to resent all the times they had to be quiet. All the times I could not drive them places they wanted to go. All the times I felt I was not there for them.

The following year I decided that a streak was not enough. I dyed all the hair on my head green. It became a summer time thing for me. I would attend fair with green hair. Shades would change a little but the kids liked it and so did my other "kids" in 4-H. On the couple years I did not do it for whatever reason all the kids would be sad. People would ask me why in the world I would do such a thing. I would try to summarize all I have written above and I would also add that it is just hair. It grows out. Eventually it washes out or gets removed the next time I get my hair done. It puts smiles on faces of those I love. 

This year is a little different. Because we were having state senators come to fair, I chose to stay more professional and not do the green to the dismay of all the kids. But a few weeks ago my daughter found left over pink from when I let her do her hair (AFTER she presented her winning speech at Ohio State Fair). She said, "Mom, you should totally use this on your hair." I said no. I kept saying no. I only did green (because that is so much better than pink... LOL).

Well this month some things hit me. First, my husband uploaded close to 10,000 photos onto a frame in our house that now shows pictures we had forgotten of the children growing up. I was suddenly hit how much they have grown and how much time has passed. I realized that I am closer to them leaving the house than I realized. I "yeeted" my daughter into community college (as she announced in the Christmas card letter this year). The amount of time that she is going to be living with us is dwindling and here I am feeling the best I have in 30 years. All of the sudden I felt like I was no longer remembering to focus on the laughing and dancing. Then I remembered how many people I knew that had been going through chemo and did not even have hair to play with at points. I remembered my proclamation during the green hair times that it would grow out and it was only hair!

I grabbed the bottle and smiled at my daughter. She took one look at the bottle in my hand and had the biggest grin on her face. She knew what it meant and she knew I was going to let HER do it. I sat there in the basement talking with her as she did it and I was transported back in time to the little girl who would do my make-up and hair as a child. I got a brief glimpse back in time to my little princess. We had so much fun. Years from now, when we look back on the pictures from this Christmas we will have this special memory to share. THIS is what the pink hair is about... making memories, cherishing the family that I have been gifted with in my unconventional way, and celebrating our family's uniqueness. After all, we are unique!  We have lived through some really rough times but with the help of God, we have all bonded, grown together, and found the moments to laugh and dance. We march to the beat of our unique drum while loving Jesus the whole time. 

So yes, I will be the crazy lady at church Sunday with bright pink hair. I am sure there will be all sorts of reactions. There will be those that smirk and giggle. There will be those that think I will have lost my mind. I will be smiling remembering the dad of my daughter's friend who used to come to church with a Hello Kitty necklace on because his precious princess asked him to. I will be smiling because I made a memory with my child that was another in a chain of fun things. I might even come home and watch replay the stream to see if the camera panned to where I was sitting to see how it glows under the lights. But in any case, I will know that just like other things in life, this too will pass and I will have normal hair again at some point and I am just thankful that I remembered to laugh with my daughter. 

I want to encourage you all to remember to make memories with your families. No, this is not me saying dye your hair pink (unless of course you are one to roll with it...). But find those things your kids used to love to do as kids and find a way to make them something you revisit as they grow. Start traditions that they will remember and even pass on. Remember that laughing and dancing are okay if done at the proper time!

(By the way... I am still not certain if I like the pink or not, but ironically when I walked in the kitchen at first my husband very quickly said he liked it. I hardly ever hear him not say "I will have to get used to it" when I change my hair. So, I guess this is a win this time! LOL)